I started this blog 5 years ago this month, July. July is the month of my tragedy. It is the month of the big family reunion, the fireworks, the heat and the light.... and the center of summer.
I started to write about things in the title - yoga, food and love - yet instead I believe I've wandered a great deal. It is an exercise, this writing for the public, ( all 10 of you....:). It is not like keeping a journal in the sense of just writing whatever, which is why I have written so few entries in the past 6 months. It takes clarity of thought, a time set aside, nothing pressing me with obligation. John Lennon best captured the dilemma of the writer/artist :
"I look at the floor and I see it needs sweeping - Still my guitar gently weeps."
It is a challenge to ignore that dirty floor for the frivolous pursuit of writing just because.
I look back on my 5 years of offerings both wistfully and critically. It is a review of a specific time frame in my life. I am continually amazed that when I read old work I feel like I am reading something by another woman. She is a person I remember well, yet one who I no longer resemble in quite distinct ways.
When I was a child and the adults asked me what I wanted to "be" when I grew up, I wish I had known. I wish I had known that we reinvent ourselves every day and that "being" is fluid, evolving, sidetracking and relatively unpredictable.
I will continue this blog, with thanks to google and you, dear reader, who venture to share my wanderings. One day it will be an archive.
"Someday we'll find it
The rainbow connection,
The lovers the dreamers
and me."
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