Monday, July 15, 2019

barometer

I am sitting in the chair where my Dad sat for the past few years. On the wall between the chair and the window is Dad's barometer. The old style, wood frame with gold rims. On the top the headings read: Rain - Change - Fair. I wonder about which barometer this one is. He always tapped the barometer in the morning and in the evening when I was little. I watched and thought it was a magic language only he knew.

Once, years ago when my nephew Simon was small,  maybe 3 or 4 years old, he was crying because of some conflict with his older brother. He was inconsolable. Dad (Nampa) took him in his arms and said, " I know, I know it's hard.The barometric pressure is really low today"

I watched from around the corner, and marveled at his use of a reference as esoteric as barometric pressure  to a small kid, and yet it seemed again maybe there was a magic he was invoking which those of us uninitiated into the math of meteorology could fully comprehend.

After the tearful Simon, his brother Nick and their parents left I asked him about how the barometric pressure would affect a crying child. He replied, "Oh, It was just the first thing that came into my head. I was just trying to distract him."

Brilliant.

That was my Dad. Meteorologist, navigator by the stars, comforter of little children.

Saturday, July 6, 2019

Good bye Dad

                                                               Gratitude

 Dorothy and the Shindler family would like to recognize the many people who have given physical and spiritual care to Bob during his recent decline. Beatrice Khisa, Clement Viswanathan and Yeme Shiferaw, please accept our heartfelt gratitude. And to the many kind and caring med techs and staff at Overlake Terrace, your friendly compassionate care made such a difference for Bob, Dorothy and all the family. And to Father Fabian, who was and is a great spiritual comfort and friend.

                                                          Reminiscences

Bob was the first of 3 sons born to Louis and Augusta Shindler. When he was little they lived next door to the Shindler grandparents who owned 75 acres in the area of old Milwaukie.

Bob watched his Grampa William run a business, and make wine and cheese. His Grama Agnes taught him German. He learned a love of trains from his Dad who worked as a mechanic for The Southern Pacific Railroad. His Mom gave him a love of growing flowers.

He was close in both age and affection to his 2 younger brothers, Dick and George and to his cousin Franz. One of Bob's activities with them was to write a little "Newspaper" he called "The Arbutus".

During the summers Bob would spend as much as a month at a time at the Cornelius farm of his Grama and Grampa Senko, maternal grandparents. He picked cherries and berries, did farm chores. A memory he recounted just 2 weeks ago happened when he was 11 years old. He was shooting some fireworks and almost burned down a shed.

He spoke often of his grandparents, they held a prominent place in his development.  His time with them undoubtedly made him an especially involved grand parent, and then great grand parent.

He attended Catholic Grade school, and then was given the privilege of attending Central Catholic High in east Portland. It was a long street car ride from Milwaukie.
He said :"Grampa would give me 5 cents for the street car, and if I walked home I could use the rest of the fare money to buy a maple bar". He would go on in later life to help many children and grand children with the expenses of education.

He loved his years at Central Catholic, and made several life long friends there, one of whom took him to a party hosted by Dorothy Baier. He apparently was wearing the whitest T- shirt of all the young men. Bob and Dorothy soon double dated to Senior Prom. She was impressed again that he graduated as the Valedictorian.

With the second world war going on, Bob immediately entered Basic Training after graduation. He chose the Air Force. Quoting: "I had the choice to go to flight school or navigation school, I chose navigation school because it was a shorter program. I wanted to get to the war as soon as possible. Can you imagine that? " He was 19 years old. He said the young don't know the reality of war.

During these years, 1943- 1945 Bob and Dorothy stole little visits when and where they could. Mom can't look at a train station without getting teary eyed. That was often where they would meet after long absences.

With the war over, Bob and Dorothy had the chance to finalize their engagement, and  married in 1948 while Bob was still finishing his college degree at Santa Clara University. He often spoke of how valuable the GI Bill was which paid his college tuition. He again graduated as Valedictorian.

With the intention of having a large family, by 1953 the new family included Bob Jr, 4  and Anne, 3 . Anne, born in 1950 spoke wistfully of the Hillside Park years in Milwaukie, the tiny subsidized housing cottages the family  lived, where Tom and  Margi were born.  A moment here to say God rest your soul, Anne.

1956 brought Bob the job which launched his career in transportation planning. His forte was gathering statistics, writing reports and problem solving the myriad aspects of how we get around. His office was right next to the State Capitol in Salem.

Just in time with 4 children and more anticipated, Bob and Dorothy bought their first home, 4 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, in Salem. Here Therese, John, Joe and Kristin were born. 

Again, just in time, in 1967 Bob accepted a job in the far off city of Seattle with The Puget Sound Council of Governments as head of the transportation department. Now the family moved to a 5 bedroom, 3 bathroom home. Luxury! Here Stephanie was born. Bob and Dorothy remained in the Bellevue house for 46 years.

During the 1970's Mom and Dad became Nama and Nampa. They welcomed each new grandchild with great joy. Dad began to set up his model trains on the living room floor.

Forgive what I am leaving out. We will speak of so many memories later today. For now, some images:

Dad:

 * Setting up a barbecue fire with bits of apple and cherry wood, meticulously laying the briquets onto his little twig fire with his tongs.  Grilling steaks and burgers in the backyard in summer.

 * Taking the last small bit of a bar of soap, and squeezing it onto the new bar. No waste.

* Continuing the practice for years of taking the meager 5 gallon military bath.
    
* Calisthenics in the living room in the morning before work.

* Hand washing his socks and laying them to dry on the bathroom towels (so none would get lost in the family laundry)

* Shining shoes with him on Saturday to have them shiny for church on Sunday.

* Singing in the men's choir with his big, confident voice at St. Vincent's 9 o'clock mass.

* Tapping his barometer in the morning and evening to get the current reading.

* Taking the family for Sunday picnics or to Cannon Beach in summer.

* Taking each grandchild to WA DC in the spring in part because this is when the cherry trees are in bloom, given to our country by Japan, after the war, as a symbol of peace.

* Working diligently to promote light rail and public transportation systems.

* Telling us about the placement of highways, how lights are timed, how lanes are paved differently.  Traveling the roads of Oregon and Washington with him was a fascinating history lesson.

* Writing funny emails to the family and signing them from Mom's cat.

* Trying yoga out with the family group in his 80's.

* Taking on the cooking when Mom became unable. He grew practiced in the creation of good healthy soups and stews to nourish her. ( even if they ate at 11 o'clock at night)

* Standing in his back yard with his shovel or his trowel, spading his lawn borders, sifting through the huge piles of compost he created , to spread it on his flower beds or give it away to our gardens. Staring into space, his quiet time with the earth.

* Organizing the residents at Overlake Terrace to create a fund to give the floor staff a Christmas bonus.

* Teaching his children to see God in others: the poor, the dispossessed, those we disagree with, even those who do us harm.

Closing with a final image:
" I would walk the babies" he said, "when they cried and cried, often in the middle of the night."  Our Dad paced patiently back and forth, to sooth the new person we were, held over his shoulder. We, his children and grandchildren will carry that visceral memory, deep in our essential self, of being walked, of being  held and comforted in his arms, on his strong shoulder, next to his warm heart.